Unit1textALoveandLogicThestoryofafallacy1IhadmyfirstdatewithPollyafterImadethetradewithmyroommateRob.Thatyeareveryguyoncampushadaleatherjacket,andRobcouldn'tstandtheideaofbeingtheonlyfootballplayerwhodidn't,sohemadeapactthathe'dgivemehisgirlinexchangeformyjacket.Hewasn'tthebrightestguy.Pollywasn'ttooshrewd,either.2Butshewaspretty,well-off,didn'tdyeherhairstrangecolorsorweartoomuchmakeup.Shehadtherightbackgroundtobethegirlfriendofadogged,brilliantlawyer.IfIcouldshowtheelitelawfirmsIappliedtothatIhadaradiant,well-spokencounterpartbymyside,Ijustmightedgepastthecompetition.3“Radiant”shewasalready.Icoulddispensedherenoughpearlsofwisdomtomakeher“well-spoken”.4Afterabannerdayout,Idroveuntilweweresituatedunderabigoldoaktreeonahillofftheexpressway.WhatIhadinmindwasalittleeccentric.Ithoughtthevenuewithaperfectviewoftheluminouscitywouldlightenthemood.Westayedinthecar,andIturneddownthestereoandtookmyfootoffthebrakepedal.“Whatarewegoingtotalkabout?”sheasked.5“Logic.”6“Cool,”shesaidoverhergum.7“Thedoctrineoflogic,”Isaid,“isastapleofclearthinking.Failuresinlogicdistortthetruth,andsomeofthemarewellknown.Firstlet’slookatthefallacyDictoSimpliciter.”8“Great,”sheagreed.9“DictoSimplicitermeansanunqualifiedgeneralization.Forexample:exerciseisgood.Therefor,everyoneshouldexercise.”10Shenoddedinagreement.11Icouldseeshewasstumped.“Polly,”lexplained,“it'stOosimpleageneralization.Ifyouhave,say,heartdiseaseorextremeobesity,exerciseishad,notgood.Thereforyoumustsayexerciseisgoodformostpeople.”12“NextisHastyGeneralization.Self-explanatory,right?Listencarefully:Youcan’tspeakFrench.Robcan’tspeakFrench.LookslikenobodyatthisschoolcanspeakFrench.”13“Really?”saidPolly,amazed.“Nobody?”14“Thisisalsoafallacy.”Isaid.“Thegeneralizationisreachedtoohastily.Toofewinstancessupportsuchaconclusion.”15Sheseemedtohaveagoodtime.Icouldsafelysaymyplanwasunderway.Itookherhomeandsetadateforanotherconversation.16SeatedundertheoakthenexteveningIsaid,“OurfirstfallacytonightiscalledAdMisericordiam.”17Shenoddedwithdelight.18“Listenclosely,”Isaid.“Amanappliesforajob.Whenthebossaskshimwhatqualificationsare,hesayshehassixchildrentofeed.”19“Oh,thisisawful,awful,”shewhisperedinachokedvoice.20“Yes,it’sawful.,”Iagreed,“butit’snoargument.Themanneveransweredtheboss’squestion.Insteadheappealedtotheboss’ssympathy—AdMisericordiam.”21Sheblinked,stilltryinghardtokeepbackhertears.22“Next,”Isaidcarefully,“wewilldiscussFalseAnalogy.Anexample,studentsshouldbeallowedtolookattheirtextbooksduringexams,becausesurgeonshaveX-raystoguidethemduringsurgery.”23“Ilikethatidea.”shesaid.24“Polly.”Igroaned,“don’tderailthediscussion.TheinferenceiswrongDoctorsaren’ttakingatesttoseehowmuchtheyhavelearned,butstudentsare.Thesituationsarealtogetherdifferent.Youcan'tmakeananalogybetweenthem.”25“Istillthinkit’sagoodidea,”saidPoly.26Withfivenightsofdiligentwork,IactuallymadealogicianoutofPolly.Shewasananalyticalthinkeratlast.Thetimehadcomefortheconversionofourrelationshipfromacademictoromantic.27“Polly,”Isaidwhennextwesatunderouroak,“tonightwewon’tdiscussfallacies.”28“Oh?”shesaid,alittledisappointed.29Favoringherwithagrin,Isaid,“Wehavenowspentfiveeveningstogether.Wegetalongprettywell.Wemakeaprettygoodcouple.”30“HastyGeneralizaton”saidPollybrightly.“Orasanormalpersonmightsay,that’salittlepremature,don’tyouthink?”31Ilaughedwithamusement.She’dlearnedherlessonswell,farsurpassingmyexpectations.“Sweetheart,”Isaid,pattingherhandinatolerantmanner,“fivedatesisplenty.Afterall,youdon’thavetoeatawholecaketoknowit’sgood.”32“FalseAnalogy,”saidPollypromptly.“Yourpremiseisthatdatingislikeeating.Butyou’renotacake.You’reaboy.”33Ilaughedwithsomewhatlessamusement,hidingmydreadthatshe’dlearnedherlessonstoowell.Afewmorefalsestepswouldbemydoom.Idecidedtochangetacticsandtryflatteryinstead.34“Polly,Iloveyou.Pleasesayyou'llgooutwithme.I’mnothingwithoutyou.”35“AdMiserlicordiam,”shesaid.36“Youcertainlycandiscernafallacywhenyouseeit.”Isaid,myhopesstartingtocrumble.“Butdon’ttakethemsoliterally.Imeanthisisallacademic.Youknowthethingsyoulearninschooldon'thaveanythingtodowithreallife.”37“Dictosimpliciter”Isaid,“Besides,youreallyshouldpracticewhatyoupreach.\"38Ileapedtomyfeet,mytemperflaringup.“Willyouorwillyounotgooutwithme?”39“Nottoyourproposition,”shereplied.40“Why?”Idemanded.41“I’mmoreinterestedinadifferentpetitioner-RobandIarebacktogether.”42Withgreateffort,Isadcalmly.“HowcouldyougivemetheaxeoverRob?Lookatme,aningeniousstudent,atremendousintellectual,amanwithanassuredfuture.1ookatRob,amuscularidiot,aguywho’llneverknowwherehisnextmealiscomingfrom.Canyougivemeonegoodreasonwhyyoushouldbewithhim?”43“Wow,whatpresumption!I’llputitinawaysomeoneasbrilliantasyoucanunderstand,”retortedPolly,hervoicedrippingwithsarcasm.“Fulldisclosure—IlikeRobinleather.Itoldhimtosayyestoyousohecouldhaveyourjacket！”
